Jerry, you need to find god
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
No subtext here. People are naked.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
