Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
