Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
