No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
