Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
