Sry I called you an 8
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
