I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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