Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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