Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
