Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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