my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
This is classic penis vs brain.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Randomize