Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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