Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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