awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
