At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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