Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
