this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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