omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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