Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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