1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Found your dick twin last night
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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