she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
