Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
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