I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
