farters have to be the big spoon...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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