she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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