i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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