we're blogging at a bar
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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