I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
