I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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