Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
