You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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