People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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