So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
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That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
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I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize