Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
