Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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