I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
