Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
