I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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