I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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