I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
