You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just had sex on a roof
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
