You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
i now understand why vodka
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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