we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
