you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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