i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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