I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize