Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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