I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
