if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Randomize
