why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize