It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Is it because I queefed?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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