it's not cheating when I paid for it
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
