shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
