I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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