I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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