He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
