Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
