girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize