dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
