Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
