I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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