I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
