I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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