It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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