Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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