We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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