You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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