If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
They have beer where we have blood.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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