Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
