Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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