so let's talk penis.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
should my penis look like a turkey
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
